amyetta619's Revelife

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Thu, 02 Oct 2008 10:37:31 GMT

MY FRIENDS FRIEND WROTE THIS RECENTLY.

PLEASE VISIT THE FOLLOWING LINK BEFORE CONTINUING ON WITH THIS ENTRY: http://www.greglockwood.com/innerbattle/lyrics.html

BELOW IS MY COMMENT TO NOT ONLY HIS SONG BUT HIS POST THAT I HAVE NOT INCLUDED.

But ohh mann... I can totally relate. Not as in I've been there before, but as I'm going through it now, and I freakin' HATE it!!

In about a weeks time I'll be taking 40 days to somewhat 'refocus' myself and figure out this relationship that I think I have with God. I'm dreading it as, During this time I will be giving up on things that have been distracting me from the Lord. I am hoping my faith, etc will be restored but fearing what if it isn't.

I believe in God and His power, but then so does Satan.

Sometimes i wish I hadn't met the Lord. So i could live my life up for this world and myself first, and then find God and be saved eternally. i don't think i like this not knowing of experiances that comes with growing up Christian. blah.

May 25th '08

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 07:46:18 GMT

For God

i want to write you a poem to

glorify your love.

but how do i start as

you are so above.

i try to touch your grace

but nothing compares.

as i and everything else

here wears.

how big you must be

to care for us so.

you love us so much

even though we are below.

What are the top three things you want to do in your life?

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 06:42:34 GMT

Bee Happiee
Save as many as I can
Have me a familia

I just answered this Featured Question, you can answer it too!

Deception, Truth and Beauty

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 14:30:48 GMT

Once again, not by me. Neither is this post by someone I would call a friend. Not that they are an enemy, just I don't know them that much and don't really have a desire to, if you get me. But as they are in my life and a very very good friend of someone close to me, I would once again like to know your thoughts. Thanks.
Amyetta

"The end of the world is nigh. You can find the evidence right here.

Lately topics of religion, spirituality and all that jazz have been coming up repeatedly and independently of one another. So here I am giving my take on how I find a spiritual balance in a vast and terrifying universe filled with vast unimaginable reaches of darkness and cold unfeeling stars.

First the question of God. Do I believe in a single all powerful deity of all encompassing power, love, forgiveness and heavenly rule?
Sort of.

God to me is not some conscious creature, watching humanity from heaven and demanding, pleading and arguing with us to follow him by turns. God to me is everything, everywhere. Ask any scientist or man of god and both will tell you there is an order to the universe, a marked state towards quantifiable and repeatable formulaic efficiency. The man of god will tell you that this is God's will inacted in the universe, the man of science will tell you that this is scientific cause and effect. To me this IS god. The natural beauty of the universe is that it is so vast and dark and complex, but beneath that complexity is a divine simplicity.

God is not seperate from the universe hiding in some abstract heaven. God is the universe, and heaven is right here. By the same token so is hell.

You see I feel that when people are focussed on their own 'eternal soul' they are striving for a selfish view of rightness and goodness. That if they act in a moral way that honours their abstract god it is enough. To me I feel that we have all we need to make Earth and the universe into heaven if we really set to work on it. We should strive to make the world a better place, capable of supporting and nurturing its vast population of lifeforms (human and otherwise). We should be aware that there will be more and more generations thousands, if not millions of years hence that should benefit from their predecessors existence rather than suffer for it. I'm not just talking 'save the earth' hippy garbage either. I'm talking sociological advancement and I'm talking scientific achievement.

But what about an afterlife?
What about it? Does it matter if there's an afterlife.
Riddle me this.
If I act in a morally responsible way to myself and my fellow man, because I feel that a moral act in and of itself is justified is that worse than acting morally responsible to get a ticket to heaven, like some kind of magic cookie at the end?

What about the immortal soul? This goes back to the previous question. Firstly, I don't know if there's such a thing as a soul, but I do know there's such a thing as a mind. A soul has a lot of damning questions involved in it. Does a chemically imbalanced psychopath doom himself to hell when he indulges his need to kill? If he was created by god, why would god damn this man to an eternity of hell because of a chemical imbalance in his short lived body? Now with reason, and intelligence we might come up with a chemical, psychological or punitive way for us to change the actions of this psycho. His mind becomes his own again and joy to us all.

The fallibility of man, is probably the biggest driving force behind this philosophy. Religions are institutions built by man, the bible, the quoran, the book of the dead and scientology pamphlets were all written by men. With the bias of humanity behind it, whether its delusion, social imperitive, fear, love or greed the point is that these people are all people. Just like I am people. I might be wrong about my idea, about how the universe works, but thats why I don't force it on you. I don't ask you to change your world view to be more like mine. Also I don't ask you to blindly accept my world-view. Question it, argue with me if you must, try to convert me to your own spiritual path if you feel the need. You'll fail, because I'm a stubborn sonofabitch. I might make you cry, because I'm an arrogant bastich. If I change your mind though, don't hold it against me. At the very least, you might start to really love the beauty of the universe in all its mundane moments, without any external aid. I mean, you need something to keep you interested while you wait for heaven right?

Anyway, I'm off. Clearly I've deleted nothing. I don't care. This is a place for me to say things when I want to say things loudly enough for people who care to listen.

Peace, Love, Tranquility and the Infinite Universe,

AND TACOS!

P.S. If God was a seperate being, he totally created Mexicans for Mexican food. If God is the universe, then he is Mexican Food too."

their religious jaunt through life

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 14:21:30 GMT

Hi everybody! My friend posted this on another public site not connected to xanga at all. It was a few months ago, but still only recent. I would love to know what others have to say about this. Or if you have any advice on how to deal with them. Thanks.
Amyetta~!

"born into a catholic family. raised with morals values and all that. compared to kids raised with not-the-same-religion^TM i thought I had a better view on things, which was really just my way of rationalising why everything seemed to happen with me on the bottom of the proverbial pile.

that, and learning to self sooth instead of punch that other kid in the face because he got in line means i have a much nicer, smoother skin tecture then i otherwise could.

catholic primary, friend was cousin Luke until year 6, when idiocy decides to leave me and i realise, holy shit, you can make more then one friend. as in you can progress BEYOND just knowing someone.

catholic highschool, friends made in year 6 no where to be seen in my classes, NOR cousin - utter disaster and beginning to belief in Murphy's Law. Uncertain time, wondering why these supposed "friends" of mine were constantly pitting themsevles against each other, and using me as their whim decided it wanted to, Luke and Bradley turn out to be a very starting point for my highschool life - it was a brief example of the jerk I could've been, so am only too happy that I left them one day because I had realised that.

become friends with the others "standouts" aka weirdos, aka brainiacs, aka nerds, ALA Funny heads^TM and such like, pretty much the unCool group, making unCool Cool since the ... 8th grade?

Who cares. Go to church every weekend with the em and pee (m and p, ma and pa, mum and dad) and say my prayers every night like a good little boy.

Become friends with an american, agree to go overseas, make money and save it, tragedy occurs and plans are unalterably put on the back burner.

Also religious beliefs.

6 months or so later I get back into things, start work at Gloria Jeans and am in the workforce, go productive member of society me.

No more church or prayers, except at Xmas and easter because that'd just really upset mum and pa, and holidays aren't the time for undue emotional upset.

95 go overseas for World Youth Day, a great big catholic/christian organisation where "pilgrims" from all over the world converge on one place for mass mass (not a typo, a fucking huge mass) with the Pope. Ma and pa paid so I'm not about to say no.

most religious thing about overseas was my late night bottle of red wine that the others didn't want to share with me ("It's 10 oclock, we're going to bed now") along the lines of "Stop the shit and ask her that question." You know the question and you know the her - if you don't, ask me.

get back home and round about trips and plenty of thoughts and discussion with my mental peers I come to a conclusion about religion, on a whole, that i'm happy with.

When raising a child, having a religion is better then not having one, as it provides a community staying true to those morals and values as a basis of how to communicate with other people. Sure i could do this myself and with my brainy smart sexy and brunette wife (hello, I'm still looking for you!) but we're only parents, and we're only able to showcase niceties when child 1 through X are at home, where X is however many children I have.

SECOND! Once you reach a certain age, you're free to then make up your own mind on religion. Like catholic? Go ahead, stay it. Brother didn't. Don't like it? Think the Jews got it right? Seek them out. Got some crazy friends who believe in ghosts, spirits and talking to trees? Well don't call them crazy, that's insulting to your intelligence, saying they're your friends. And possibly to them. But do feel free to pick and choose whatever you think works best.

Or choose nothing. There ain't no god nor religion, we die and thats it (how boring).

Or choose UnNothing. There is a God, or God figure, or something above us that made shit happen, but it ain't the catholics God, it's like a large culmination of the human intelligence. All churchs are wrong.

Or satanism, if, you know, you were hit savagely as a child and decided to blame the church for it (13th Commandment, Thou Shalt Smacketh Thy Children)

I wound up believing in the idea of God, and Jesus (documentaries on Discovery channel all the time, they found the Jesus birth certificate, but that only proves he was born a man, not became the shiznit) but not quite so much the church.

"Do this and that or you wont get into heaven!" says the church.

"When you ask for forgiveness, you've already recieved it," God says in the bible.

Hang on?

"God loves you more then the birds and shit," says the bible.

"If you sin and don't repent, you're going to hell," says the church.

Pardon?

I don't actually we have a God that's a pushover, but he's not much of a prick either. Last thing I think he did? Nothing. What so ever. The bible says this, and the church backs it up, and the apostles and so on - mere mortal men - wrote it before that, so this is all a lot of who-har about this God figure who was "recorded" on paper by men, publicised by men and beleived in by men.

And it simply gives the wider population a convenient figure to accuse and blame for everything. You know, good old scapegoat.

Hell is actually a mistranslation of "hole", as in the passage from the bible "when you die and haven't done good, you'll go into a HOLE for all eternity and that's it." A hole in the ground, that is, grave.

Also "hell" as we traditionally know it was cooked up (no pun intended) in the medieval times as a way to scare people into joining the church. You want pitchforks fire demons and sodomy for all your afterlife, or cushy pillow-clouds, angels for friends and harps that sound as sweet as sundrops.

Thought so.

Now this is a very well and good and informative, and you're asking why the sudden frank openness about it all? I felt like it. I realised I hadn't put it down anywhere in black and white, and wanted to communicate as such.

I don't believe in the church, though I recognise the good it does for the community, while I do believe in this God fellow, who seems to have been given a lot of unfair rap and hasn't said a word himself. Because I still buy the God is existant thing, I guess I'm still a catholic"

Written the Morning of May 15th.

Sun, 18 May 2008 09:48:56 GMT

I am interested in learning those lessons & experianceing that experiance. But what is the point? If what I believed is true, those lessons & experiances will be pointless, no good will come from them, but perhaps bad will. But then there is that chance I feel to be small that what I believe is just there to keep me from what I should be doing? Let's put it in terms of schooling:

I am interested in studying fashion design*. But I feel I know that I do not need anything I could possibly learn from it later in life. If I choose to stufy it, it will just be to satisfy my short-term curiosity. If I choose to study fashion design, what will I be choosing it over? Will I possibly be missing out on something that could have affected my life for the better? But what if I really excel in this subject and it turns out to affect my life for the better? Should I choose Maths* which I can see the logical purpose in, although I may not be good at, and therefore waste my time, or should I choose Fashion Design which I believe will be fun but also may not have a purpose.

*I am not really talking about school subjects. Just a metephorical example

always a let down

Sun, 18 May 2008 09:47:07 GMT

Isn't it great when you make friends?! It feels so good, right? All is well for the first month or so.

But then...

The sucky part of friends is when you eventually find out something you dont like about them. the weird thing is soe of your other friends do that exact same thing or think like that or whatever, but it doesnt worry you when THEY do it, but with certian people it does.

I mean SP1* has done ALOT of stuff that I would not approve of, yet they still get the same amount of care and love for them as people who don't do that. But if say, Jane* was to do it I would loose some respect for them.

We're all human in the end and we all do stupid things that others don't approve of. So why can some get away with it?

why do I have different stanards for different people? Do you?

* Names changed to protect identities.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Sun, 18 May 2008 09:44:23 GMT

Hi everyone! I'm just getting started on Revelife... Drop me a comment if you've got some ideas on what to do first - or just to say, "Hi!" :-)